I thought i had everything

-

 I thought i had everything.

Two years and a half i was in a toxic relationship but i was too afraid to leave. I was scared of how they will react. I know i was in a bad relationship. Not how relationship should be but i was scared and afraid of telling them my feelings and is that i never felt anything in these two years. Yes i was happy but was i really? as i wonder at night every night. How do i get out of this? is this how i want my life to be like? no so i took the morning and wrote him a long text and i received nothing back..well i blocked him so i am not expecting anything. I sent the text and i felt a whole weight dropped from my shoulders. 

Its now 3 days since then and nothing yet. I don't care anymore. I am on another life now. I have moved on and i let go along time ago but i never got the nerves to but i finally did. Am i free who knows. It happened last year in june i broke up and about a month out the relationship he begged again but this time no more. I promise to have a better relationship with myself and family. 

Nothing more important that myself and family. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reaccount my mental relapse

-
.  i felt like everything was going well until money got involved my parents dislike him and not so supportive of our relationship 2023 was also a tough year i left home and stayed with him for couple of months and i choose him over my family i needed my freedom and be treated like an adult. I can't be here forever. I know i will miss my family but its the hard reality. Alot went on my head and why no one sees he is a good person and have treated me well with respect. I try explaining but nothing works its so fucking hard for me to go through this what called mental health and struggle to have my freedom of choice to do whatever i want. I know you don't want me to get hurt i won't and i will be fine. somehow i got put into hospital again. I dont believe my diagnosis. Its emotions why i can't i expresss myself in a way no one can understand. You don't like it its ok its my life. you try to scare me but im not scared.  I was happy. Now im not so much.  This better tha...
Read more

Bullying and friendships

-
 Since primary school i felt no one really loved me. I was bullied or wasnt treated like other people. I would be kicked out of groups and i would hang alone. I had no friends until year 2 i met one friend i'm still friends with who knows all my love stories til uni time where life happened and we gone our own ways but occasionally we catch up by messages but do hope to see her one day again.  There's this one girl who would say mean stuff to me and til high school we went to the same primary and high school she was still giving me bad vibes and out of high school to last year i saw her and she smiled to me and im not sure if its real smile or fake i mean its been so many years but im sure she knows what she's done but it doesn't matter anymore we were kids and we are adults now its just still feel like she doesn't like that much.. So when i saw my friends come to the hospital to see me i didn't really cared about friendships and i was always with my family most...
Read more

What do i've been doing lately?

-
 Reply is nothing what is nothing. Secretly having so much fun with my fav artists and actors etc. Something some people might not get and felt before its better than love life haha seriously. I cancelled multiple times to see them live. My life is surrounded by them, They are the best people ever. SO MUCH FUN. I AM HOME EVERYDAY WAITING FOR THEIR POSTS AND NEWS. Every post is so cool. So inspiring. I see my followers theres 1040 people! but no one knows me. Like i may go out in public and i dont get people calling out my name or when buying drink they ask for my name.  Talk about influencer. I AM NOT ONE! i am just a regular girl living a regular life. Nothing special in my life. I don't have no talent and i am not skillful. I dont have much to give. I just document for my own glow up or transformations or life moments.  yeah i don't know anyone personally only like 30 people who are my cousins:L and like another 20 for school mates. Other people i don't know personally ...
Read more