Life of a schizophrenia

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 When i first had my episode 10 years ago in 2015 i was so scared of judgements and how people reacted to what i went through. I am so glad ive overcome those times and but sometimes i do feel down about rethinking of what happened and how i survived being in hospital especially the mental ward. It was hard at first of course and it didn't get easier as i relapse 2 more times and hope its the last. 

You can't predict and know when it happens it will strike immediately and no signs at all. No one in my family experienced this nor my friends. I see the other patients in the hospital has worse than me and i am lucky i was recovered fast and got to experience life as it comes. 

I didn't understand my diagnoses at first and very denial of it and think i was normal but as i relapse 2 more times i finally accept reality and realise the voices in my head are not normal and i thought everyone would think like that. What do you think about when you are not talking? do you hear voices and yes its true i hear them all the time having amazing conversations and  its  loud too. Its distracting and even when on medications i still have these voices in my head. I haven't talked about it but Its voices that makes you do things bad way like so bad that could be illegal too. I did something wrong last year and i was out of my own control.

welcome to my life.

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