Mandymakhau:)

 Congratulations to Kevin and Jenny!! Tonight was the chillest night!! It was so nice to see some of the boyz from high school who i may not seen for 10 years. Miss hanging with them, dancing and music related with them. Not much has changed as well felt like no time has flown by between us. I had such a great time and the banquet was great. It definitely one of the best moments of 2025. Waited since july and now its over. I can't wait to see them all again soon.

 Its a big event tonight!! I can't sleep not knowing who i'll see but the bride and groom!! I'll go alone and no tag alongs. I wonder who i am sitting with but i know it will be ok. Its gonna be a good night i know it.  Cant wait to have fun and reunite with some friends.

 On the weekends, i am either on my own or with family. No plans with him at all. Rare to hang out on weekends. Its coming to the end of the year and everything is so busy. He hasn't talked or message me since his birthday on tuesday  he just stops and disappeared for 4 days!! I'm still gonna wait for him. Its hard to plan things out with things happening last minute. We never plan anything and see each other last minute. I can never look good or know where we go.  Some days are great some days are just dragging. Happy 38 months. 

 MIA and blocking is going on for 3 years every weekend i tend to block him and unblock him after weekends and days where he is MIA most likely sick or sleeping. Its so normal now, I dont think anything bad or good about it but annoying haha.. days where i push him away but he is used to it. I come back new week and pretend nothing happened. We are adult now need to communicate and not run when there issues.  No body know what happens only us. We keep it to ourselves weve been through so much but we are still together. Idk how long we can last but we just going with the flow

 1. The girls who i love and trust with my life:) They mean the world to me! I am grateful for them and happy how life has treated them and where everyone is now in life i am so proud of them. I miss them its so hard to see each other now but we are always there for each other. 2. Movement/6teen - the boys from high school, they may not know who they are but i miss these boys and i can't wait to reunite with some of them at one of their wedding. They are brothers to me and always there for me and so supportive all the time. those are my real and true friends. The rest of the friends i met after high school were temporary and no contacts now.  Friends are hard to find and keep. People have other priorities. Its just life. 

 My mind is full I need to dump and clear it up. Its past 3 am and i can't seem to sleep tonight we have a guest here for another 10 days. Its only night one. not sure how the rest of the time will be like I am stuck. I really don't know what to do. I hate myself for this but i have too I gave too many chances to be in the same spot. Nothings happening. No improvements. I need fresh air I feel like im suffering and isolated in this situation Let  him know what is happening and close this chapter.